From Smith.1@ix.netcom.com Mon Jun 22 15:27:28 1998
Path: news21.bellglobal.com!news1.bellglobal.com!howland.erols.net!ix.netcom.com!smith
From: Smith.1@ix.netcom.com (Ray)
Newsgroups: alt.alt.alt.alt.alt
Subject: Di and I and Durt and dogs
Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 19:27:28 GMT
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Yeah, Durt, I thought Di was proposing to me...rather have a proposition. But
she rejected me and here is her reasons:

>Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
>Dogs miss you when you're gone.
>You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
>Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
>Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
>Dogs don't criticize your friends.
>Dogs admit when they're jealous.
>Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
>Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh
> at how you throw).
>Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know
> the most important thing is that you're together.
>Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
>You can train a dog.
>Dogs are easy to buy for.
>Dogs are good with kids.
>Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
>You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
>Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
>The worst social disease you can get fron dogs is fleas. (OK. The
> *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's
> a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
>Dogs understand what "no" means.
>Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
>Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
>Dogs do not read at the table.
>Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
>You can house train a dog.
>You can force a dog to take a bath.
>Dogs don't correct your stories.
>Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger
> owner.
>Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
>Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
>Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
>Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
>Dogs admit it when they're lost.
>Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
>Dogs look at your eyes.
>Dogs like your size.
>Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
>Dogs take care of their own needs.
>Dogs are color blind.
>Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
>Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
>Dogs are nice to your relatives.
>Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
>
Well actually I stole it from another news group. But you know I never minded
lying to youse guys. But damn, this old dog was hopong for some new tricks.